Marian the Librarian (#16)
Do you have a question for Marian? Send it to the editor, Deanna Briggs, at deanna@ll.mit.edu to forward to Marian.

Dear Marian, 

A very attractive woman uses the library every now and then and I’d like to ask her out, but I don’t feel like it’s appropriate for me to do so while she’s in the library. I don't think it would be professional; and secondly, I don't want to avoid the library if she doesn't return my feelings. The other library staff don't seem to know her. I've heard that she's a contractor, which means she doesn't have a company e-mail account or extension. I only know her first name and I don't know how to contact her. What are your thoughts, Marian?

Signed,
Twitterpated

Dear Twitterpated,

Whether to ask someone out while on the job can indeed be a tricky decision. Circumstances can be the key. Walking up to this woman and bluntly asking her out may not be appropriate, but if you've talked to her at length in the past, slipping a casual invitation to lunch or coffee into a future dialogue could be quite appropriate. Lunch and coffee are innocent enough and it's common for coworkers to have lunch together. Some women consider an invitation to dinner or a drink to be a bit more serious.

I think your concerns about coloring her future decisions to use the library are wise. You definitely don't want to make a move that will make her future use of the library awkward for either of you. Once you've talked to her for a little while, you may get a sense of whether she might welcome an advance.

Good luck,
Marian

Dear Marian,

It’s that time of year when I start seeing e-mails from my colleagues planning to go to the Special Libraries Association Annual Conference in June. I’ve wanted to go for some time, but my employer does not support professional development activities and has not allowed me to use work time to go to conferences in the past. I’ve read the preliminary program on the Web and have seen a number of sessions and a continuing education course that are definitely relevant to some new projects I’ll be taking on. I won’t be able to save money to pay for the entire conference out of my pocket; and, I’m already planning to spend my vacation days helping my daughter with her new baby. How can I get some support to go to the conference?

Signed,
Eager to Learn

Dear Eager to Learn,

You are certainly not alone in your situation, as unfortunate as it is. Convincing managers of the benefits of professional development can be quite challenging.

Maybe your manager is the kind who can be persuaded by calculations, like a cost-benefit analysis or return-on-investment. For example, maybe you can compare the cost of the course with the cost of other measures you might need to take to educate yourself about the new projects or do similar calculations with time. Perhaps you can prove that it's more efficient and cost-wise for you to take the class.

Are you aware of any professional development activities in which your employer has participated? Maybe referring to something in your boss' experience—whether it's a workshop, an office retreat, or a golf game for networking purposes—to illustrate the value of conference attendance, could be useful.

Since it sounds like you may not be able to convince your employer to pay for the entire conference this year, have you thought about proposing to share expenses? That's not an ideal situation, but it could be an option.

There are many ways to save money while attending the conference. Some people find lower-priced accommodations and cheaper forms of transportation. Some attendees share hotel rooms. Instead of buying food from restaurants for every meal, some people buy ready-to-eat food from grocery stores for breakfast and lunch. The association offers discounted registration prices for attendance on one day and early registration. It also gives automatic association membership for a year for nonmembers registering for the conference.

Perhaps you should ask some of your professional colleagues what their tactics have been to convince their managers to let them go to the conference. Someone has certainly gone through this before and may have some excellent ideas to help you. If you post your question to an e-mail discussion list, the resulting conversation could benefit others in your situation. One tactic I've used in the past is to write a proposal, including all of the conference activities and their costs, even the free conference activities, and how attending these activities will benefit me in my work—and thus benefit my employer.

As for the issue of using work time for the conference, maybe you can suggest to your manager that the amount of time you'd spend seeking information about the new projects would equal the time you would spend in class or at the conference. If you are unable to get approval to use work time for the entire conference, maybe you can suggest a way to use comp time. Some sneaky people use sick days. Since the continuing education courses happen on the weekend, you wouldn't necessarily have to use work time for a course, unless you are regularly scheduled to work on the weekend. What about telecommuting from the conference? It's possible to access computers at the conference (maybe there's a laptop you can bring, too) and you may be able to make phone calls during the breaks between conference activities.

If none of that convinces your employer, maybe it's time to look for another job in an environment that is conducive to professional development.

Best wishes,
Marian

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