{M-Can you make these headline small caps?}

WHO'S THE MOM? FRANKLIN MUM.

Little Will Franklin's mother remains a mystery. Ben Franklin refuses to reveal her name, acknowledging "Intrigues with low women" in his past. The baby, called a "base-born Brat" by detractors, was born shortly after the printer's marriage to Miss Deborah Reed and will be raised by the couple. [Franklin Court offers an entertaining, dynamic encounter with the private and public life of Franklin. Market St, between 3^rd & 4^th Sts.]

FORMERLY HOMELESS LOCAL TOPS BEST SELLER LIST.

Ben Franklin's self-help book, Poor Richard's Almanac: The Way to Wealth is a runaway success. As a teen, the 25- year-old author/printer fled Boston, to escape an abusive older brother. Now hundreds are buying his tips on how to be "healthy, wealthy and wise."

[Take home a hot-off-the-press souvenir from Franklin's Print Shop. 320 Market St.]

PARTY LEADER FRANKLIN RAPS RELIGION.

Benjamin Franklin admits authorship of a pamphlet which states "hypocritical Pretenders to Religion more injure the commonwealth than those openly Profane." Some members of the Quaker political party, which Franklin heads, disdain his Deist or "free thinker" beliefs. Franklin calls his opponents "stiffrumps." "I spend my Sundays reading. "

[Locals know it's good luck to toss a penny on Franklin's grave at Christ Church Burial Ground 5^th and Arch Sts.]

PHILLY'S FRANKLIN NO CHEAT, KITE FLYING BUDDY SAYS.

Ebeneezer Kinnersly says the claim of plagiarism against his science partner is nonsense. Political enemies are trying to block Franklin's honorary degree from the University of Oxford, on the grounds that Kinnersly was the real inventor of electricity. [Take a short taxi ride to The Franklin Institute Science Museum for hands-on exhibits of Franklin's scientific accomplishments. 20^th and Ben Franklin Pkwy.]

COLLEGE OF PA GIVES FOUNDER FRANKLIN HEAVE HO.

Provost Reverend William Smith defends the action, stating "Dr. Franklin took uncommon

Pains to misrepresent our academy saying that it was a narrow bigoted Institution, got into the Hands of the Proprietary Party as an engine of Government; that the Dissenters had no Chance in it." [The college, now known as the University of Pennsylvania, 34th and Walnut Streets welcomes SLA visitors of any persuasion.]

BIG BEN BOOED BY BRITS

(Letter from a London gentleman). "The Ministerial People here are outrageously angry with Dr. Franklin and abused him personally, as if invited to a Bull-baiting. I never was in America, but I do not believe that any of your inferior courts in the Back Counties would have conducted themselves with so little Dignity God give us all a little more Wisdom." [The newly renovated Historical Society of Pennsylvania is a treasure trove of revolutionary artifacts. 1300 Locust St.]

BEN WON'T GO TO BAT FOR WILL --LEAVES SON IN SLAMMER.

Ben Franklin declined to intercede for his son, the Royal Governor of New Jersey, accused of Tory war crimes and seized by the New Jersey Militia. The two have not spoken for a decade, since William joined the anti-revolutionary Royalist party. [Visit the beautifully restored Powell House where British officers were wined and dined by loyalist Philadelphians. 244 S. 3^{rd St.}]

BIGWIGS QUASH FRANKLIN'S LAND REFORM PLAN

The Pennsylvania Assembly rejected Benjamin Franklin's proposed change to the Declaration of Rights. The revision declared "The State should have the right to discourage large concentrations of property as a danger to the happiness of mankind." [Don't leave town without touring the scene of many fist-pounding debates: Independence Hall. Chestnut St, between 5th and 6th Sts.]

BEN FRANKLIN, WON'T YOU PLEASE COME HOME!

Ignoring entreaties from friends and family, the retiring diplomat lingers at wine-flowing receptions in the opulent Parisian salons of Comtesse d'Houdetot, Madame Brillon and other French ladies, basking in the admiration of "le culte Franklin."[See Franklin Court, top of list.]

FRANKLIN'S "MIND MEDDLER" BANNED IN GERMAN STATES.

The statesman's unusual glass and water Harmonia, a new musical instrument popular for its dulcet tones, is believed by some to "excessively stimulate the nerves, plunging the player into a nagging depression." Others blame it for cat and dog convulsions and even premature births.

[See and hear this invention (if you dare) at Franklin Court, top of list]

by Terese M. Terry , business information specialist at the Lippincott Library, University of Pennsylvania. She may be reached at Terryt@wharton.upenn.edu (Special thanks to Michael Halperin, Lippincott Director, for the tawdry headlines.)